god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
and she was petting her beer can
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Randomize
