you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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