you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
