I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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