so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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