We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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