I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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