It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
