I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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