I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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