How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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