So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
