Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
