On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
