is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
