I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
