Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
