a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
