Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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