Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
