I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
