Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
