Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
