pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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