yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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