Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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