i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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