I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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