wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
