you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
