Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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