She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Sorry my hands just texted you
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
