I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
