I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
