so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
