So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
