There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize