distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Also, beer. Big fan.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
