Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
