you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
