the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
You ate ashes out of my bong
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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