Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
