I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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