Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
