Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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