So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
