I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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