I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
