I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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