Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
