think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
