Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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